Eight years ago I was battling fatigue that resulted in a spiritual dryness. Fatigue is defined as extreme tiredness, typically resulting from mental or physical exertion or illness.
Mentally and emotionally I was exhausted! I had no strength to endure the hardships that plagued my life then nor the strength to run the race, let alone finish it. (2 Tim. 4:7)
Slowly I was depleted of hope and the joy of my salvation. I was empty and so desperate. I felt my breath failing me as I sat in the darkness, watching the door of the coffin close as I laid there spiritually dead. "No, no, no...I don't want to die!" my soul cried out! As I sat with tears streaming down onto my notebook, I penned this psalm entitled "In My Weakness":
Blackness surrounds my soul
Turmoil wrestles my heart
Sadness engulfs my being
This heaviness tears me apart.
My mind tumbles with thoughts
Of leaving this all behind,
Strength I do not have
To fight the enemy this time.
This cycle of spiritual death
When does it ever end?
I though I finally conquered
Bound I am again.
This battle surrendered, unwillingly
I've lost this fight once more
My spirit no longer ignited
The flames extinguished, Oh LORD!
Wearily, I reach out to you God
Despite the emptiness I feel
Darkness surrounds my life
My joy it managed to steal.
LORD, where do I go from here?
For I've failed you once again
I don't want to be a failure
And return to a life of sin.
Consume ME Holy Spirit!
Bring light upon my soul
Pour your strength within me
And clothe me with your robe.
Shelter me from the enemy
to YOU i cry, My LORD
Carry me through this battle
As you've done for me before.
Forgive me for my weakness
My faith has withered some
I love You with all my heart
Please help me overcome!
"Come to me in your weakness
For in your strength you die
My life I gave for you
To restore you back to life.
Rest in ME my daughter
Once AGAIN take hold of Me!
Even through this battle
I will bring you victory.
A purpose I have given
The enemy knows the plan
I'll give you all the weapons
To fight and firmly stand.
This walk will not be easy
You need to seek MY face!
When your spirit becomes weary
Come, My Strength, embrace!"
THANK YOU LORD, for your faithfulness
Your mercies and Your grace
Your love is never ending
In my Weakness, your hands I'll embrace!
There are many who at this moment are experiencing such fatigue for various reasons. They are spiraling down into exhaustion of the body, soul (mind, will,emotions) and spirit. Emotionally and spiritually they have become dry, depleted and depression has stolen their strength. The word of God says that the JOY of the LORD is our STRENGTH (Nehemiah 8:10). Where there is sorrow, heaviness, and turmoil, joy is absent. Where joy is absent, so is strength.
We know that the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. He aims at every area of our life, especially our relationship with JESUS. He does it through hardships and he does it through busyness. If he can get us caught up with life and disconnect from the Giver of Life, he has won. Spiritual death is sure to follow.
Spiritual dryness comes when we stop drinking from the Living Water. However there is a call, an invitation:
"If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." John 7:37
But whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a fount of water springing up to eternal life." John 4:14
DRINK DEEPLY.........
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Mathew 11:28